waterwitch

March 27, 2017

move through the up-n’-coming central ninth neighborhood in our charm-central salt lake city one evening. stroll your way past a fantastic cut and found object installation by local artist CHRISTIAN ENGLAND. as tho moving thru a gallery, you’re magnetized westward toward electric vibrations generating in the shamanistic glow spilling into the street from a custom neon sign made by another fabulous local company BRIMLEY. if you find your spine tingling as the hairs at the back of your neck begin to stand on end don't trouble yourself wondering if you’re sauntering past a strange new town apothecarist. there is nothing spooky happening here. [except perhaps, how #dillicious the somethings hidden behind the matte black and glass facade promise to be.] knowing it would be a shame to not enrich your day with the potential of this hydrous genius: walk to the sign that reads WATER WITCH.  now: enter. 

 

 

 

 

if there is one #dillicious thing that cute wee salt lake city truly, desperately needs.. its a light, bright, craft cocktail bar.. …with a tiki blender. DUH. who better to deliver that to our map than two of the cities preeminent well known bartenders? the thoughtful creative genius that is SCOTT GARDNER and MATTHEW PFOHL is sure to make a handsome impression from the moment you walk through the grandiose door frame. patrons who enter are greeted by a massive piece of artwork our gracious hosts are rumored to have dredged up from the depths of a mormon archive. take a seat on an unexpectedly comfy [and bouncy] barstool. settle in and gaze across the beautiful, clean, chopping-block bar, meet eyes with a water witch, and request a “roulette.” when graced with behind the bar sorcery such as this, i must recommend than you sit back, not make a menu selection for once, and be dazzled as the bartender does what they do best. last i frequented the witch and rouletted myself, Matthew served me a hemingway variation so perfectly balanced: tangy to sweet, i thought to myself; “if a libra were a beverage.. this would be it.”

 

do not leave without ordering a tiki. that’s all i need to type on the subject and when a boozy, burning, blended, rum cocktail so dillicious you get stuck in tastebud nirvana is poured into a beaker and set in front of you— you’ll understand why you might be cursed without one.

 

if you prefer a bit more predictability in your life; worry not. the menu; certainly on point, features daily specials like: the club banger. a cocktail inspired by one of those standard “order-it-any-place” sort of beverages. somehow the water witch-ed version of that standard cocktail will be incomparably tastier than the same thing ordered elsewhere. even if that thing is a jägerbomb ..which i cannot explain. reincarnating a popular classic is fun, however at water witch there is more. beneath the banger on the specials board you’ll find what we’ll call a give-the-top-shelf-a-try option. i relished in the herbal notes of green chartreuse V.E.P. during my last visit. a bottle typically sold for no less than one hundred and fifty dollars, then marked up the industry standard of four hundred percent. running the risk of overusing the magic puns, at the price i paid -which is by no means in compliance with industry standards- it was like drinking a voodoo hex. not to mention, when chilled ice cold and served neat, at one hundred and ten proof and still entirely too #dillicious. it may be a hex potion indeed because.. who really know’s where that sort of intoxication might take you. craft cocktail gurus, nose in the air mixologists, and plain jane’s alike will be enlightened to discover these unique top shelf boozy somethings so rarely available yet so supremely accessible.

 

if magical booze doesn't speak to you then i’m not really sure [what is wrong with you] what to tell you.. but there’s a fair chance the good gentles at water witch will. traverse to the central ninth neighborhood and learn what magic really tastes like. tho, i’m here to tell you:

IT IS #DILLICIOUS!

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